Twas Grace that brought me safe thus far,

and Grace will lead us home.

“I’m a great multitasker.”

No. You’re not.

The term “multitasking” was introduced by IBM in 1965, referring to how its latest computer could perform multiple functions at once.

Human multitasking, for example, is typing an email while you’re listening to another awful webinar. Or texting while you’re at a stoplight. Or making your kids’ supper while you’re listening to your ex’s 12-minute voicemail.

We all do it. We all think we’re good at it.

We are all wrong…and it’s ruining our meetings, our kids’ band concerts, and our friendships.

The interwebs, social media, and cell phones have made attention-deficit the new normal. We’ve turned conversation into “LOL.” We are now given so many choices, we’re no longer ever satisfied with what we have. is a perfect example. Sometime during my lifetime it became creepy to see a pretty girl and just ask for her phone number. It became unusual to actually meet someone face-to-face and feel such a connection that you both wanted to see each other again.

Girls that give you their phone numbers? They’re unicorns. Eclipses.

Instead, we sort through endless police lineups of faces. We send out 10 emails designed to make an impression in under five seconds. Then we wait, and we hope—of those 10—we might get one response back. And when we do, then we’re immediately onstage doing our best opening monologue. If we’re not funny? They move right on to the next photo.

We treat each other like we’re disposable, because we have an endless supply of people to meet in the palms of our hands. This is true of online dating and our new versions of friendships.

That lack of depth (of conversation and of understanding) is scary to those of us who think that depth is the meaning of life.

We multitask each other like we’re flipping TV channels.

And what we find—eventually—is that those people we already know (and probably met offline) are still the only people we can count on, and we rarely give them the love and attention they deserve.

(If you need something more substantial than writing to make you believe that, attend just one funeral every week. About the time you get halfway through “Amazing Grace”, it will become obvious to you.)

If you have someone that takes time this week to ask how you’re doing…or wants to share a part of their life with you? Embrace them immediately, never forgetting the rest of the world isn’t so kind.

Be present with those in front of you. Those are the people who matter.

And I’ll do the same. And it will start with the two of us.

One thought on “Multitasking”

  1. I’ve been dating online for about a year now and, I agree, there are a large majority of people out there who are looking for nothing more than an unsubstantial relationship and meaningless sex because they have been hurt and have closed off their hearts and no longer know how or are willing to love. However, there are a few who are actually looking for more of a connection. The frustrating trick is finding one who shared the same goals, values, sense of humor, etc. I was actually just about to walk away from online dating frustrated with no results when I met him. On the first date, I new he was the one and we have been together ever sense. In fact, we are now engaged and happier than ever. Did I cut myself off from the world while I was online dating? Of course not! Why would anyone do that?! I meet everyone in my life with happiness and respect because I believe they deserve it, it makes both our lives better and I love making friends. I believe your problem is you are searching for an answer or explanation to this whole love thing and there just isn’t one. You need to be willing to take the risk, take down the barrier, eliminate the negative attitude and open your heart and stop judging a relationship before it even happens. That’s the only way you’ll ever find love.

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